:)

Hey guys :)

Okay so it's now Sunday again...and i phoned PT twice last week and received pretty much no new information whatsoever. I was told to be optimistic about going to Honduras because it looks likely...but not from the info they gave me last Wednesday it doesn't! The country was under curfew because they were having a coup, so the rep's plane couldn't land, so they couldn't tell me anymore information about the placement. That evening i was talking on facebook chat to Casey who is a volunteer on the Bay Islands off the coast of Honduras, and he was saying that the country was still under curfew, though the islands weren't in any kind of danger...
Honestly i'm just a bit confused, and there is no way i'm going to build myself up and start thinking that i'm definitely going to Honduras because i've been let down twice already and i'm going to stay as cautious as possible until i find out what is really going on.

I feel quite bad, because along with me, my partner Emma is still at home...we did choose to wait together for the placements we both want, but part of me thinks it's my typical bad luck that has landed us in such an unfortunate situation :( Hopefully she doesn't blame me though, just as i don't blame her...i don't blame aaaaanyone (not PoinTing any fingers of course).

Mum was working tonight, so there was no big Sunday dinner, and in my opinion, pie, beans and chips with Stephen were just as good!! We were talking about my going away, and he gave me a lot to think about in terms of making the biggest success of my year. To summarise...
When i get there, it's all about how successful i can make this year for everyone involved in the long term. If, by the end of week 1 all the kids love me and it's all going hunky dory, then that's good, but i should be looking at a way of sustaining that success for the rest of the time i spend there. Plan and review what i'm doing. It has to be taken seriously, and i intend to look at it that way.
Stephen suggested that i could create something along the lines of a handbook. Start at the beginning and try to establish what stage i am at, what level the kids are at, what the general feeling is. Then i will go to the middle of the book and write down where i want to be 6 months from then, and finally what do i really want to have achieved, in detail, by the end of my year... and over the course of the year, fill in the bits inbetween with all the goods, the bads and the uglies of the days gone by...
but without giving away too much, this is going to be very detailed indeed. Like i said, i'm going to take this completely seriously, as it should be taken. I'm looking forward to making the very most of this tough challenge, and i know that this is where my natural motivation will break out and make me proud. It will make others proud of me, but more importantly i will be proud of myself too. About time too :)

So thank you very much Stephen for motivating me, helping me and treating me like the adult i am trying to be. Thank you :)

Now, i'm away down the road to watch Dirty Dancing with my aunty Jilly! Though, before i go, i want to leave you with some words of wisdom that reverberate in my mind for a variety of reasons...
I'm sure they will help you too, in one way or another :)
Love, Jen xxx

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."
- Dr Albert Schweitzer

...

Well this one is not that much more cheery, i have to say...

It's Sunday afternoon, and i haven't received any information from PT regarding either placement, which is adding to my frustration. I don't really know what to do...there is nothing i CAN do until tomorrow anyway, seeing as the office is closed, but i don't know that there is any point in me pestering them anyway, it wont help anyone :(

Wednesday is only a few days away now... the long awaited phonecall will soon take place!

I honestly don't know what i'll do if they tell me that Honduras isn't an option. I really will break down. I've already lost out twice when Mauritania and Senegal both fell through, but if i hear that Honduras isn't going to work out, and that i'm just being sent to Chile because it's the only available option i honestly think i'll be inconsolable for a good few days.
I WANT to help people, no matter where i go...and i know that i can help people wherever i am sent, but when i feel insecure because i've been sent somewhere i know NOTHING about, i honestly feel like i wont be able to put every effort i have into making the most of this year, for me, and for the people i will be working with. I know this is just a moment of weakness, because as soon as i get out there, my self-motivation will kick in again because no matter where i am, i know that this is what i want to do.

I'm going to make the absolute most of this, but it just feels that everything is going against me. Please keep your fingers crossed that i make it to Honduras because i really don't want to be let down again... :(

Love, Jen xxx

:(

Hey again...

Why am i always at the source of a problem?!
I heard from PT last week, and they told me that Senegal was no longer an option, and that i could go to India, Chile or Honduras. It was 99.9% likely that i would go to Senegal, and for them to turn round and then say that the placement wouldn't be available until January was devastating. My subject choices for university are now pointless as i will be going to a Spanish speaking country, when i chose French as one of my subjects, under the impression that i would be speaking French for the year that i am away.
I told PT that i wanted to look into Honduras, and my partner Emma agreed that we would wait and hear about that placement. Neither of us wanted to go to India, and Chile would be our last resort. There is a placement available already in Chile, though both of us want to wait to hear if the Honduran project is available. We were told we would hear from PT on 23rd September about whether the project there is suitable, and if it is, we'll both be sent out to Honduras on the first available flight. If Honduras is not suitable, then Chile will be our next option, and as the placement is solid there, we will be being sent out as soon as possible when we hear from the Honduran project.

I am feeling quite concerned about the situation, as i do not know anything about Honduras OR Chile, and i don't speak a word of Spanish. I will also need to negotiate with my university to see if i can add Spanish to my course choices.
I know nothing of the culture of either location, i know nothing of the placement i will be in, and i know nothing of who i will be working with, what facilities are available, or how developed the country is.

I am not feeling to good at the moment regarding my volunteer gap year, and i do hope to get a fair amount of information regarding both placements from PT in the next couple of days to help ease my mind. It's scary enough going to another country for (what will now be less than) a year, but to have the unknown hanging over me as well does not help my state of mind.

Hopefully my next blog will be slightly more cheerful...
Love Jen xxx

Well i STILL haven't heard anything certain yet from PT. Though it seems likely that i will be leaving anytime after this coming Friday (less than a week away...). As soon as they have heard from my headmistresses out in Dakar, i will literally be getting on the first flight out there, so everything has to be organised and packed before this Friday! oh dear...

I would like to thank everyone again for all their support and donations, my mum came into my room today to tell me that everything has been paid for and i'm now all set to go, so thank you for helping me reach this stage. :)

I was sitting on facebook the other night (as i always do) and my friend Brigitte from Sheffield was online. She was on my selection course when i had to go up to the Isle of Coll for the first time, and she was so much fun and i knew i wouldn't forget her! She popped up in facebook chat and i asked her about what she was up to, to find out she was in Bolivia, and had been there for 6 weeks already! I was so shocked (and slightly disappointed that she'd already been out there and had settled in and i've still not even left dreary Glasgow...) that she was sitting in an internet cafe on the other side of the world and she wanted to talk to ME! We added each other on Skype and i phoned her and we both put on our webcams and it was really fun, she was telling me all about her experiences so far in Bolivia. It was clear that she really wanted someone to share all of her thoughts with because we were talking about her post for about an hour or so, though i completely enjoyed it and wanted to hear more and more! One of the things i had been told on selection was that a lot of the volunteers who return feel rather annoyed at their friends because they tended to get bored of hearing about our tales of faraway lands...so they feel quite isolated. i could tell that Brigitte really wanted to talk about all her experiences and i felt no desire to stop her! Even though i couldnt be there to see the things she saw, i was still completely enthralled to hear her stories :)
But my point is, i hope you guys don't get bored of hearing my stories...that would be a real shame :(

Anyway, enough blabbering... Sunday dinner is waiting for me (now that's something i'm gonna have to get used to not having for much longer... this could be my last one!)
Love, Jen xxx

Think Again...

Hey everyone :)
So in the beginning, i was supposed to be going to Nouakchott, the capital of Mauritania. However, this all changed about a week and a half before i was due to fly out when the incredibly responsible and thorough staff at Project Trust (PT) had gathered enough evidence to suggest that Nouakchott was no longer a safe place for me, or any of my partners to be going. Speaking of my partners, they were James (aka Molkie), Shaun, and Emma. Shaun and Molkie were supposed to be going to a placement just down the road from Emma and myself, in Nouakchott, up until the security developments took place last week.
Unfortunately, as none of us are now able to go to Mauritania due to its hostility, we've had to re-think where we would like to go. Shaun has now been placed in Uganda, though i don't know when he will be leaving, and i believe Molkie will be going with him. After spending a week of training with those 3 fantastic people, i knew i wasn't going to settle for letting all of them go. Emma and i discussed where we would like to go now, and together we decided that Senegal, just south of Mauritania was going to be the place for us, and if that wasn't possible we both wanted to go to Honduras, in South America. I wanted to go to Honduras because, also on training, i met some pretty amazing people who were destined to go there, and to spend a year in their company would undoubtedly have been a very fun year indeed! However, i have no regrets about heading to Senegal, as i feel i can offer it so much more, as it can offer me.
After phoning Ally at PT and talking about how we both really feel Senegal is the right place for us both to go, the plans for our departure and our placement are well under way! The final details are being organised at the moment and Emma and i should have confirmation of our destination before the end of the week! :)
The reason that i wanted to go to Senegal in the first place (as it was my first choice) was mainly because i've always enjoyed French, music and the creative aspects found in different cultures. Senegal's placement will be in an infant school, teaching basic French and English to the children. It is a very musical area and i cannot wait to get involved in that part of the culture!
The teaching aspect to my project is known as my primary project, and i will be encouraged and excited to pursue a secondary project. I hope to develop my secondary project by organising a concert or gig for the pupils of my school, and their parents, hosted by the pupils themselves, hopefully by teaching and encouraging them to learn an instrument in their free time.
I have no idea how achievable that will be, though i will put every effort into making it happen if it can!
I have many ideas for the year to come, and i will keep you all posted on the changes and experiences i encounter along the way. I don't think i will be out in Dakar (the capital of Senegal, and the location of my possible placement) for another couple of weeks, around the 10th September.
I'll update soon :) thank you for making this experience possible for me.
Love, Jen x